Picky Eating: How to Troubleshoot Mealtimes

As a parent of the 21st century, you have a lot of expectations placed on you. Like teaching your children about environmental responsibility and social consciousness to help them develop into self-aware adults. You’ve got to parent in the midst of a changing world, where technology has infiltrated every area of our lives and the future of the planet is at the forefront of everyone’s mind. While the bar for parenting seems to get raised higher with each generation, let’s not forget your most basic priority: feeding your kids. If you’ve got a picky eater in your household, mealtimes might be trickier than figuring out how to explain to your kids why plastic straws are bad for the environment.

Picky eating in children can be a concern for multiple reasons. The most important reason is that it can lead to poor/inadequate nutrition. Poor nutrition could translate as a nutrient deficiency. For example, if a child refuses to eat dairy products, they could develop a calcium deficiency. Nutrient deficiencies that occur at a young age could end up negatively impacting a child’s growth and development. Addressing picky eating helps ensure that your child will meet their nutrient needs so they can grow properly.

A poor nutrition status might also be the result of a diet that’s high in energy, but low in vitamins and minerals. If your picky eater mostly eats energy-dense foods that have little nutritious value (exs: chips, candy, soda), they can still end up developing a nutrient deficiency even if they’re meeting their caloric needs. In addition, having unhealthy dietary habits during childhood increases the the likelihood of being overweight or obese in adulthood. Which in turn heightens the risk of chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease. Teaching your children healthy habits now will ultimately set them up to live healthy adult lives.

If you’d like to read up on picky eating and how to teach kids healthy eating behaviours, there’s lots of literature out there. Many dietitians have written books on the topic. Perhaps most well-known of all is Ellyn Satter, founder of The Ellyn Satter Institute. This blog post will be like the Cole’s Notes for those books. You can also find tips for parents of picky eaters on credible websites like unlockfood.ca (https://www.unlockfood.ca/en/default.aspx).

The definition of the parent’s and the child’s roles at mealtimes is at the crux of picky eating teachings. At mealtimes…

The Parent/Caregiver Decides:

Parents decide the ‘what’, ‘when’, and ‘where’ of meal and snack time. Image source: flickr.com

What foods and drinks are served:

you have the authority to decide what to offer your children at meal and snack times
make only one meal for the whole family: this is strongly recommended by picky eating experts in order to work on those stubborn eating habits. If you make a separate meal for your picky eater, there’s no incentive for them to try different foods. Your child will be more willing to eat what the rest of the family is eating if they know their favourite foods won’t be there as a back-up option.

When food is served:

try to serve meals and snacks at the same time every day: this will teach your child when to expect food to be served. Eating at regular times will help your child’s appetite to correspond to the times food will be offered. That way, your child will come to the table hungry - and a hungry child is more likely to try new foods.
to meet your child’s daily nutrition needs, offer 3 meals and up to 3 snacks (ie: morning, afternoon, and/or evening)
limit mealtimes to 30 minutes: even if your child hasn’t finished their food in this time frame, it’s beneficial to put the food away and serve food again at the next meal or snack time. Drawing out meal times until plates are clear can lead to excessive conflict and an unhappy eating environment. This can result in mealtimes becoming a daily battle and your child might make negative associations with certain foods.

Where food is served:

research shows that children eat more, healthier foods when families eat at the dinner table together
it’s important that children not be distracted by the TV, computer, toys, etc: teach and reinforce the concept that mealtime is for eating and for family time
eating together also presents an excellent opportunity to be a good role model and show your children that you eat the food you want them to eat - especially fruits and vegetables!

Your Child Decides:

If they’re going to eat &

How much they’re going to eat:

trust that your child knows when they’re hungry or full. They might eat more at some meals or snacks and less at others.
pressuring your child to eat by offering rewards or threatening punishments can end up perpetuating their picky eating. The goal is to get your child to eat well, independently.
if your child doesn’t eat much at one meal, don’t worry. You’ll be offering food at the next meal or snack time. Ultimately, your child will eat if they’re hungry - they won’t starve themselves!

I think it’s worthwhile to note that picky eating is sometimes the result of a child trying to gain control of an aspect of their life. Letting your child choose if and how much to eat gives them a taste of independence so they can practice decision-making and learn about consequences.

“Splendorous, this all sounds well and good in theory, but when I’ve tried these suggestions with my child, they don’t work!” I don’t doubt you’ve faced some snags while working with your picky eater. Below are some common issues faced by parents as well as potential solutions to troubleshoot mealtimes.

My child is never hungry at mealtimes, then later they want to snack.

try to only offer snacks up to 1 or 2 hours before mealtime: snacking can help with meeting your child’s nutrition needs, but too much snacking can make your child too full for meals
cookies, chips, or other energy-dense foods can be very filling (and also don’t contain many nutrients): instead, serve snacks that include fruit and/or veggies. That will make the snack less heavy and will provide lots of nutrients
encouraging your child to be active by playing or doing organized activities will increase their appetite
avoid giving your child too much to drink: too many fluids will fill up their belly and decrease their appetite
- limit milk and milk alternatives to 1/2 - 1 cup at each meal and snack time
- limit juice to 3/4 cup per day since it is high in sugar and, depending on the brand, might not offer a significant amount of vitamins
- if your child is still thirsty, they can have water, which has less of an affect on appetite

I’ve already tried serving ‘x, y, z’ to my child roughly 7 times - and they still won’t eat it.

try again! It can take literally dozens of times to get a child to try a food and like it.
- you can try serving that food in a different recipe
- offer it at a different time of day. For instance, you might find your child tends to be hungrier at a particular point of the day. This is a great time to try offering a food your child has previously refused. If your child is ravenous when they get home from school, try serving the food in question at that time. They’re more likely to try it when they’re hungry.
foster an interest in food: getting your kids involved in the various facets of mealtimes is a great way to help them discover new foods and appreciate what goes into making a meal.
- meal planning:
  - each week, present a few meal and snack options to your children and decide together what foods will be served. If planning out the whole week is too ambitious, you can just choose a couple days out of the week to involve your kids in the planning.
  - get the whole family involved. You could alternate which family member gets to decide what’s for dinner each day of the week so that everyone feels included.
- grocery shopping: go to the grocery store with your child so they can see and touch the foods that will be offered for meals and snacks. This will hopefully get your child excited about food and help them form a connection to what goes onto their plate. As your child gets older you can teach them valuable life skills like how to choose fresh produce and find good bargains.
- cook together: even young children are able to wash fruits and veggies, mix things up in a bowl, and push buttons on appliances. As your child gets older, you can gradually give them more and more responsibility until they’re able to make a meal on their own. Children are more likely to eat a meal they helped make. And cooking together is a great way to spend quality parent-child time.
- dinnertime:
  - get your kids involved in setting the table. Besides the plates and utensils, let them also choose what tablecloth, place mats, napkins, etc will go on the table.
  - have a dinner theme weekly/biweekly/monthly: the theme could be Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Indian, etc. If your family has a flair for theatrics, you can pick other types of themes. Maybe your child is obsessed with pirates. Tie that theme in with mealtime by serving zucchini boats and breaded fish fillets.
remember to have fun: food isn’t only vitamins and minerals; it’s also delicious and a way to connect with each other. Show your kids that healthy food is something to be enjoyed.
- set up a mini yogurt bar for everyone to make a yogurt parfait for snack
- have breakfast for dinner
- do taco Tuesdays
- have a make-your-own-pizza night

This will help lighten up mealtimes if they were previously conflict-ridden. Having fun during meals will teach your kids to have a healthy relationship with food.

My child only wants to eat the same foods, over and over again.

Image source: maxpixel.freegreatpicture.com

In the world of child nutrition, when a child will only eat a limited number of foods, this is referred to as a food jag. This may be a concern because it can be difficult to meet a child’s nutrition needs when their diet is very limited.

if your child is in the midst of a food jag, patience is essential. Continue to offer a variety of healthy foods at each meal and snack. Your child will eventually eat different foods.
try variations on your child’s favourites: add different foods to the ones your child will eat. They might still refuse them, or they might give them a try because they’re served alongside the food they like. Here are some examples of ways you could change up common favourites:
- bread: try serving with a hard boiled egg, egg salad, chopped chicken, or nut butters
- crackers: offer with cheese, yogurt-based dips, hummus, guacamole, chicken, or ham
- cereals: add berries, bananas, or yogurt
- mac & cheese: try adding chicken, beef, ham, tomatoes, peas, and/or beans

My child will eat most foods, but they still refuse to eat meat/drink milk/eat veggies/etc.

If your child’s diet is missing an entire food group, they could end up missing out on the vital nutrients that food group offers. It might take some creativity to meet your child’s nutrition needs.

meat: some kids have a strong dislike of meat, but you can still meet their protein and iron needs with alternative options
- offer eggs, beans, peas, lentils, nuts, seeds, tofu, and/or veggie burgers
- serve nut butters on toast or crackers
- add beans/lentils/peas to tomato sauce, soup, or chili
- put nuts and seeds in trail mix, on yogurt, and in smoothies
- incorporate tofu or eggs into stir fries
milk: it’s very important to supply calcium in your child’s diet so they can grow properly
- does your child not like drinking milk on it’s own? Try pouring it over hot or cold cereal or serving it in a smoothie
- try offering other dairy products, like cheese, yogurt, or drinkable yogurt
- your child might enjoy dairy alternatives like soy milk, pea milk, or coconut yogurt (check the nutrition label to ensure the product you buy contains calcium and vitamin D)
vegetables: veggies are a hard sell - even to adults
- luckily, there are tons of dishes you can incorporate them into: stir fries, casseroles, lasagna, fried rice, pitas, pizza, muffins, pasta sauce, tacos, stews, soups, salads, wraps, omelettes
- try serving vegetables in a variety of ways: raw, baked, mashed, grated, etc
- serve them with cheese sauce or another type of dip
- offer fruits instead of vegetables - they provide many of the same nutrients

When it comes to working with a picky eater, the name of the game is patience. Be consistent with your routine and the rules you set with your child. Stay strong.

If you have any concerns about your child’s growth, development, or whether they’re meeting their nutrition needs, please consult a registered dietitian or physician.

For a kid-friendly recipe that incorporates healthy sources of protein, as well as veggies, try this chicken fried rice recipe.

Kid-Friendly Chicken Fried Rice

Yield: serves a family of 4-5

Ingredients

2 tablespoons sesame oil

*Sesame oil will give the fried rice that Asian flair. However, it does have a distinct taste that your child might not be used to. You can tone down the flavour by using 1 tablespoon of sesame oil and 1 tablespoon of an oil of your choice.

1.5 lbs boneless skinless chicken breast (or 4 chicken breasts), cubed

4 cups frozen veggies (I used a mix of peas, carrots, green beans, corn, and lima beans)

*You can use veggies that your child already likes to encourage them to try out the recipe. If chicken fried rice is a dish your child enjoys, you can try using different veggies each time you make it.

3 cloves of garlic, minced

4 green onions, thinly sliced

*Green onions are a nice gateway onion because their flavour is a lot more mild than other varieties.

1/3 cup soy sauce (I like to use a low-sodium brand)

Optional: introduce your child to spicy flavours by adding a squirt of sriracha

4 cups cooked rice

*I used converted long grain rice, but jasmine and basmati rice are great fits for this recipe.

Another option: scramble 3 or 4 large eggs and mix them in at the last step

Instructions

1) Heat the oil on medium-high heat in a wok or frying pan. Add the chicken and cook until the outside of the cubes have turned white.

2) Mix in the frozen veggies and stir occasionally until they’re heated through.

3) Add the garlic and let the mixture cook for 3-5 minutes.

4) Put in the green onions and cook for 2 or 3 minutes, until the onion softens.

5) Add the soy sauce and sriracha, if desired. Decrease the heat to medium-low and let the flavours combine for a few minutes.

6) Mix in the cooked rice. If the rice is cold, keep the burner on until the whole mixture is heated through.

Optional: if you’d like to add egg to your fried rice, now is the time to mix in your scrambled eggs

And now for my closing question:

What was your favourite meal when you were a kid?

I was obsessed with barbecued chicken breast with lots of honey garlic sauce!

References:

Dietitians of Canada. (2016) “Feeding Your 6-12 year Old Picky Eater”. PEN: The Global Resource for Nutrition Practice.

NutriSTEP. (2019) Dietitians of Canada. <http://www.nutristep.ca/> Accessed May 18, 2020.

UnlockFood.ca. (2018) “Picky Eating: 10 Fun Tips to Get Kids to Try New Foods”. Dietitians of Canada. <https://www.unlockfood.ca/en/Articles/Child-Toddler-Nutrition/Picky-eating--10-fun-tips-to-get-kids-to-try-new-foods.aspx> Accessed May 18, 2020.

UnlockFood.ca. (2018) “Picky Eaters: Commonly Asked Questions”. Dietitians of Canada. <https://www.unlockfood.ca/en/Articles/Child/Toddler-Nutrition/Picky-Eaters-Commonly-asked-questions.aspx> Accessed May 18, 2020.

UnlockFood.ca. (2020) “Say Goodbye to Picky Eating!”. Dietitians of Canada. <https://www.unlockfood.ca/en/Articles/Child-Toddler-Nutrition/Say-Goodbye-to-Picky-Eating!.aspx> Accessed May 18, 2020.